Something has always drawn me to the phrase Reckless Abandon. Reckless abandon is a frame of mind in which one operates without inhibition, and pursues a goal without regard to the consequences. It is me winding my way through the dance floor while Mr. Brightside blasts, spinning around other dancers and crashing random dance circles. It is the pursuit of joy, no matter the audience. There's a magnetic attraction to the idea of doing my own thing, regardless of what anyone is going to think. Imagine the freedom of moving with complete confidence in yourself. You are free from the judgement of others and the judgement of yourself. You make decisions without looking back to wonder if that really was the correct decision. There's no need to agonize over each decision to optimize your happiness. You can find what you need down any path. I've been enamored by this potential existence for a long time and wanted that to become the central theme behind this blog. But as I was trying to write this exact introduction for Reckless Abandon, I realized that's not really how I live my life. It's not even really a good goal to have. After all, while I'm whirling through the dance floor, touching my chest now, any misstep causes a spilled drink or a stumble from another partygoer. At the least, a sweaty bump.
I've realized reckless abandon is not necessarily a worthy goal. A life of reckless abandon too easily turns into an echo chamber of self-adulation with no regard for consequence or criticism. The goal is not to extricate myself from the web of humanity. In fact, it is the opposite. I'm trying to become even more connected within that web. I want to have the confidence to care about what others think of me without bristling and pushing back. I want to have people around me I trust. I want to care about others. I'm trying my best not to spill anyone's drinks. That's not reckless abandon.
There has to be a way to care about what others think without being controlled by what they think.
There is some recklessness, and plenty of abandon. But reckless can't be the goal. We need relationships that bring us back to the web when we fall too deeply into ourselves. It's a delicate game of balance we play. A game of Mindful Abandon.